July 2, 2025
Purpose Is Being, Not Doing: Discover Your True Self with Rick Harrigan - RERUN
What does it mean to live a purposeful life? Life Purpose Coach Rick Harrigan knows firsthand the painful disconnect between external success and internal emptiness. After 20+ years in corporate entertainment with all the trappings of the American dream—good money, nice house, white picket fence—Rick found himself profoundly unfulfilled. "I was getting validation from everyone except myself," he shares in this soul-stirring conversation.
Rick takes us on his journey from burnout to breakthrough, describing the moment at age 40 when he realized he couldn't continue living a life that wasn't truly his. Working with a coach helped him shed fears around money and perception, allowing him to define success on his own terms for the first time. This transformation was so powerful that Rick left his corporate career, moved to Colorado, and dedicated himself to helping others find their authentic purpose.
The most enlightening revelation? Purpose isn't about doing—it's about being. "Purpose isn't what you're doing. It's not your job. It's who you are," Rick explains. It's about identifying your core values and living them in every aspect of your life. For Rick, discovering that "fun" could actually be a core value was revolutionary, contradicting his stoic upbringing but perfectly aligning with his natural disposition.
Rick offers profound insights into the process of letting go of old programming. He describes it like creating a new groove in a record—understanding what your old patterns are costing you and envisioning the benefits of living authentically. When someone connects with their purpose, there's an unmistakable energetic shift toward freedom, openness, and joy that emanates from within.
Whether you're starting your career, feeling stuck mid-career, or simply seeking greater self-realization, this episode offers valuable guidance for anyone wanting to align their life with their authentic purpose. Visit rickharrigan.com to learn more about Rick's coaching and take your first step toward purposeful living. After all, as Rick reminds us, "failure we can do on our own. Success requires support."
Credits: Raechel Sherwood for Original Score Composition.
Links:
YouTube Channel: Uncover The Human
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/wearesiamo
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wearesiamo/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WeAreSiamo
Website: https://www.wearesiamo.com/
00:00 - Introduction to Rick Harrigan
02:08 - Rick's Journey to Purpose
08:41 - External vs. Internal Validation
13:31 - Understanding True Purpose
16:44 - The Importance of Core Values
27:25 - Creating New Grooves and Letting Go
35:57 - Recognizing Purpose Alignment
40:12 - Finding Fun in Everyday Life
48:49 - Wrap-up and Authenticity Definition
WEBVTT
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Hey there, Christina.
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Hi, we talked to Rick today.
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Yeah, rick Harrigan, that was just honestly a blast to have a conversation.
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That guy is great.
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Yes, it was a blast.
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It's a good thing.
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Fun is one of his top values, because he definitely knows how to bring it into the room.
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Yeah, I can deliver, yeah, you can deliver.
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Rick is a life purpose coach and, honestly, I don't even think we need to say more than that.
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It's just so fun.
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Yes, yes, Must listen to, must watch and highly recommend to check him out to make sure that life has a purpose and it's not just on autopilot zombied away.
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Very easy to do that, very hard to do it the other way, but so much better.
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Yes, much, much better Enjoy.
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Enjoy.
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Welcome to Uncover the Human, where every conversation revolves around enhancing all the connections in our lives.
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Whether that's with our families, co-workers or even ourselves.
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When we can be our authentic selves, magic happens.
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This is Cristina Amigoni.
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And this is.
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Alex Colombo.
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Let's dive in.
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Authenticity means freedom.
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Authenticity means going with your gut.
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Authenticity is bringing 100% of yourself, not just the parts you think people want to see, but all of you.
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Being authentic means that you have integrity to yourself.
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It's the way our intuition is whispering.
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Something deep-rooted and true Authenticity is when you truly know yourself, you remember and connect to who you were before others told you who you should be.
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It's transparency, relatability, no frills, no makeup, just being Hello.
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And welcome back to this episode of Uncover the Human.
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This week we are joined with our guest Life Purpose Coach, rick Harrigan.
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Welcome to the podcast, rick.
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Thank you, alex, it's great to be here.
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Thank you, Christina, for having me.
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I am really excited to chat with you both today.
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Welcome, welcome.
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We are thrilled to have you on.
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This is a great time of year to be exploring what you do, and I'm going to let you tell a little bit of that story.
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How did you get into what you do and what are you doing now?
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Absolutely.
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Thanks, alex, I appreciate that.
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So my journey to purpose started way back, even as a kid.
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It's actually instructive as to how I found my purpose.
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I grew up in New Jersey, very blue collar household, and from a young age it was really impressed upon me Go to college.
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A few people in my family were lawyers, become a lawyer, get that high paying job, et cetera, et cetera.
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So college check, moved to Los Angeles to go to law school in California, took a job in media in the meantime, never quite ended up getting to law school, ended up working in corporate entertainment for about 20 plus years doing advertising, sales and biz dev and on the surface, really successful Good money, nice house, white picket fence, american dream all that stuff.
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Internally, exactly the opposite Feeling stuck, unfulfilled, unhappy, dissatisfied, disconnected.
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And felt like that for a long time, but kept doing it because I just thought that's what I was supposed to do, that's what society tells you to do, that's what my parents wanted me to do.
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I was getting all kinds of validation from it, from everyone except myself.
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And so finally, about 20 years in, when I hit 40, I had had enough.
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I was burnt out just completely, at my breaking point and I realized I need help.
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Number one and number two I can't live this life anymore because it's not the life that I want to live.
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So I actually started working with a coach who was kind of a spiritual life purpose coach.
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I was kind of having a spiritual awakening at the time and he just really helped me shed my fears around money, shed my fears around perception, the old, what will people say, what will people think, and he really just helped me hone in on my values, my beliefs, and really encouraged me to define what my definition of success was for the first time in my life.
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And going through that process was the most powerful transformative process I've ever undergone.
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And I came out of that realizing, wow, I want to do this for other people, because I knew firsthand that there were many, many, many other men and women just like me kind of suffering in lives that were not really of their own conscious design.
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So I quit the job, left Los Angeles I was kind of tired of the traffic and everything that went along with that Moved here to Colorado, got my coaching certification and I knew right away, you know, what I wanted to help people do was to help them find their purpose, because that's what I really did.
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I found out who I was and what I wanted to do with that.
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So now I help people do the same, whether they are starting their careers, whether they're in the middle of their careers, or whether they just generally want to find their purpose as part of their own self-realization.
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I help people find their purpose and then channel it into meaningful, fulfilling work that will make them successful, abundant, joyful.
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The whole kit and caboodle.
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It is the most satisfying work I've ever done in my entire life.
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I love it.
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Yeah, I love the phrase particularly.
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I was getting validation from everywhere except myself.
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That tells the story in a nutshell.
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Yeah, I could really sum that up very succinctly like that.
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I think that's something that's very relatable.
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I definitely have felt that at many times in life.
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There's just and I think a lot of people feel that it is the societal like well, you seem to be doing fine, Buy the books, You're doing great, Right.
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Just something is not connecting.
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Everyone else is like oh, that seems fine.
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Everything except my soul and my heart and my mind.
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Some minorly important aspects of the puzzle.
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Been really well, except for that, yes.
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So how did you recognize that the external validation was not aligning with the internal validation?
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Yeah, it was.
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You know it was a voice that was there very early on, even as soon as I even got my first job.
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There was this tiny little voice that was just like this isn't really what you want to be doing, but the external validation those voices are so loud and so much easier to digest than that little voice inside sometimes that they drowned it out for years.
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And then there were aspects of my job and my life that were great.
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I was going to really nice dinners and movie premieres and taking great vacations, so that also made it a little easier to tamp that voice down.
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But eventually, once that became the norm, that validation's voice became getting lower and lower in volume and my internal sense of misalignment kept getting louder and louder in volume Until finally I just came to this realization of all the nice dinners and all the money in the world is not worth it when this internal voice is not aligned with what you're doing.
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And so it was just kind of this slow, steady rise in volume over the years of just simply, you know, because the more you pay into it, the further and further you get from being able to go back and live the way that voice wants you to live, mortgages, things like that.
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But eventually the volume just got so loud internally and there were things going wrong in my life externally as well.
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I was angry, I was unhappy Probably not the most fun guy to be around coming home from work.
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So there was external discord happening at the same time as well.
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That energy and that voice it's going to make itself heard one way, shape or form, and some of that external discord helped make me realize, wow, I am really out of alignment and I need to listen to this inner voice and follow what it's telling me to do.
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So you found purpose in helping other people find purpose.
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What does purpose mean to you?
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Yes.
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Yeah.
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So the first step in finding your purpose is really understanding what purpose is.
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And purpose isn't what you're doing.
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It's not something that you do, it's not your job.
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It's not the parts, it's the sum of those parts.
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It's not something that you do, it's not your job.
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It's not the parts, it's the sum of those parts.
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It's who you are.
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It's who you're being, it's who you feel called to be in every moment of your life.
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It's your values, it's your beliefs, it's how you manifest those and it is, in some part, what you decide to do with them.
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But your purpose isn't defined by the doing, it's defined by the being.
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I often say, you know, purpose is synonymous with true self, purpose is synonymous with total authenticity, and purpose is just simply being who you really are meant to be called to be and just feel from the wellspring of your soul that you ought to be in this world.
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It's not an end goal.
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It's not like you can say, oh, I found my purpose, I'm out, I won.
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It's a nonstop journey because you're always changing, you're always learning.
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Your values can change, your beliefs can change, so your purpose changes as you progress through life, and that's the beauty of it.
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It's the painting that you paint of your life.
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That's never really done.
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I guess you could even make the argument until even after you take your last breath.
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And that's what I really find as the beauty of it is.
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It's a process that really is life-giving, life-affirming, and really brings joy to the soul.
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That's a great distinction.
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I like that Purpose as a being not doing.
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Yeah, that is a great distinction.
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I almost wonder if you could walk us through how to find our purpose in 45 minutes or less.
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I have a couple of rough guideposts.
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Just kidding putting you on the spot.
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I can give you some steps for sure.
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I'll tell you this Values are really really elementary to understanding one's purpose.
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Values are really the building blocks of purpose and understanding what your values really are, because they are the guideposts of your life and I do a lot of work with my clients.
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Three different exercises to define what your roughly four to six core values are and when you can define those core values and you know exactly what they mean to you.
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And they're very consciously chosen, not fear-based, because we can have fear-based values that don't really serve us.
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When they're consciously chosen, those values are things we can carry around with us and manifest and live and breathe into anywhere we go around, anyone we meet, anytime and we can't go wrong, and they are really kind of the signposts that triangulate what our purpose really is.
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They're really core to purpose work.
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Have you mentioned values before?
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on this A few times maybe you know, let's see 50, 60 episodes a few times in each episode, a few hundreds of times.
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I think, I gleaned that you, Alex, and.
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Christina vibe with values.
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I dig that.
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We do, we do.
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I like that distinction of fear-based values too.
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There's so many assigned values, so many learned values.
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It's very much like those external voices.
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There's so many values told to you that should be there, and what is really your values?
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So I'm curious and you don't have to dive in if it's too personal, but like what your values are.
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What connects you to the work that you do?
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What got you into your new purpose?
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Yeah, I can tell you, my number one value is connecting with others.
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I love when two people can sit there in their authenticity or in their vulnerability and just really connect on that level Like wow, you know, we share some of the same experiences, we share some of the same fears, we share some of the same triumphs, we share the same humanity.
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I love connecting with people in that it's total flow for me when I'm connecting with somebody or a group of people in that manner.
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A couple other of my biggies family is a big one, but that one wasn't until my daughter was born and then I really came to understand, wow, this is true family, but that extends beyond just blood as well.
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And actually fun is a really big value for me.
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And kind of a funny little story about that when I was getting my coaching certification, we were doing some values work and I saw fun on the list of values and I was beside myself.
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I was like how can fun be value?
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Like how?
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How was fun a value?
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Because I grew up in a very stoic Irish Catholic household where if there's no room for fun in life, you just you live, you suffer, you stay quiet and then you know when you're done.
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Yeah, sounds great, sign me up.
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You're a sinner by birth.
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There's nothing you can do about redeeming that, just give it up suffer, suffer, suffer and lights out.
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Yeah, and so I saw this on the list and I asked my facilitator, dina cashman, who's a common friend of ours, I was like that can be a value.
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She was like absolutely, if it brings you joy, if it makes you feel aligned with your soul, absolutely a value.
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And it was like the clouds parted, the sun came out and it gave me permission, because my whole life I've been like just's just kind of this fun loving kid who kind of had to tamp that down and realizing like, wow, fun can be a value and I can like go anywhere and try to have fun, whoa.
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So doing that values work was some of the most rewarding work that I did because it also gave me permission to be more of myself and shed some of those learned values like stoicism or you know things like that Exactly.
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Yeah, it doesn't have to be hard, we can have some fun while we're doing it.
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That was a big aha moment for me and I see that all the time with a lot of my clients where they're just like wow, like this.
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You know I have this massive list of values and they're like I never even thought of that as a value and you can see them making all these connections and maybe shedding some of those fear-based values and it's amazing work to do.
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That's incredible.
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I think that's one that a lot of people can probably relate to as well Just the idea that you could.
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It's the same as like purpose not being what you do, Because we also tie what we do usually to some form of like well, it should be a little painful, it should suck a little bit.
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You're not working hard enough if it's not suffering.
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It's your purpose and it should hurt a lot.
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You're not doing it right.
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Yeah, where are the scars?
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I steadfastly disagree with that.
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Thank you, we do too now, but we have the scars anyway From previous lives.
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Exactly From some of those old fear-based values.
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I still have some of those scars and wounds.
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No, I wouldn't say wounds, just scars.
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That idea of permission is so prevalent in learning things about yourself, there's so much that we hold back from ourselves because we don't feel like we have permission to express that.
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You know that's definitely some learned responses, and just taught responses that there's a lot of societal pressure to not have fun.
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It's just not to do something like that.
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It's interesting you connect immediately to that idea for mission and I love your description as well.
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Like the clouds, part of this is something where, like it's this big aha moment, sun washes over you like, ah man, that was it, you can do that.
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Yeah, that's refreshing, wow.
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Yeah, and in many ways can be ingrained from birth.
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And then our system is such where, you know, there's this intense pressure on somebody who's 18, 19 years old to figure it all out right now, pick a major, decide what you want to do for the rest of your life, and there's this sort of lack of permission to just explore, to try some different hats on and try different things on.
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Sometimes, you know, we can find our authentic selves, but sometimes we need to try some different hats on to really see what the ideal application of that is in terms of career or job or starting a business and things like that, and that kind of gets discouraged, that permission gets taken away a little bit at an early age, I think, when people should really be out there just exploring and wearing different hats, trying different things on.
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Yeah, yeah.
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I imagine that it's not easy work for anybody to go through and it probably takes quite a bit of creating the space for someone to feel safe and to keep peeling the onion.
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As a coach, especially after some experience, it becomes pretty clear when somebody is putting up the armor and when somebody is not putting up the armor, and then you know there's a lot of digging to be had and you get to the point where it's like, okay, there's a lot of this has to be on the other side and not from on the coach side of like, if you can't open up and you can't slow down and you can't admit, and you can have that self-awareness there's so far you can go, yeah.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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And that's where, well, actually, when I first started coaching, I worked with men for that exact reason, because I saw so many men were kind of suffering in that sense of stoicism, and asking for help is a sign of vulnerability or weakness.
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Having undergone that process myself and knowing how powerful it was, I wanted to try and reach as many men as possible to sort of be like there's another way.
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You know, with those clouds can't part.
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And that relatability, that aspect of connecting with others and sharing my own vulnerability in my story, and that aspect I think played a big part in disarming or not necessarily disarming, but just creating that comfort level, that ability to connect.
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And in that ability to connect that's when people can start dealing with those things and turning their gaze inward.
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And now I work with men and women because I want to spread the gospel of purpose far and wide and help as many people as possible.
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But there's a lot of rapport building that has to occur there and there's a lot of trust that has to be established for people to really do that vulnerable, open, digging and shine that light on some things that they might not want to because there might be some pain there.
00:20:04.864 --> 00:20:15.791
That's where those dreams are, you know, in that dark corner, like here I am, here I am, and helping them take down those barriers is all part of the process.
00:20:17.020 --> 00:20:21.406
Especially a portion of it, Would you say, and you guys have both done a lot of coaching.
00:20:21.406 --> 00:20:22.631
There's a lot of.
00:20:22.631 --> 00:20:35.108
I've met people I've even heard some pretty funny phrases around it where there's almost like a belief and sometimes almost a pride over feeling like, oh, I'm uncoachable, Like I can't be leeched.
00:20:35.108 --> 00:20:42.792
I've even heard phrases like, oh, therapy can't handle me, Like almost bragging about it, which is kind of funny.
00:20:43.220 --> 00:20:53.925
And from my perspective it feels like it definitely comes down to personal choice of am I going to be able to open up here, but have you ever really run into a roadblock or feeling like there is something that actually couldn't be moved?
00:20:54.420 --> 00:20:57.028
Not after I've begun working with someone.
00:20:57.028 --> 00:21:03.204
There are certainly when you're doing a consultation or even just talking to somebody at a party or whatever it may be.
00:21:03.204 --> 00:21:06.153
There's always some sort of hesitation.
00:21:06.153 --> 00:21:14.223
You know, from people who maybe haven't been coached before of this I'm a tough nut to crack or I don't need help.
00:21:14.223 --> 00:21:22.159
I got this or what have you and one of my, Christina, I'm sure you know.
00:21:27.009 --> 00:21:29.334
I have a side note for when you're finishing your thoughts.
00:21:31.401 --> 00:21:35.191
It's funny I have a 13-year-old daughter who sometimes falls into that category.
00:21:35.191 --> 00:21:45.289
Yeah, one of my favorite sayings that was given to me by one of my coaches is failure we can do on our own.
00:21:45.289 --> 00:21:49.326
Success requires support, and that I really take to heart.
00:21:49.326 --> 00:21:54.104
I'll tell people that if you think about your life, you haven't done it on your own.
00:21:54.104 --> 00:21:55.767
Very, very few people have.
00:21:55.767 --> 00:22:03.092
It always requires support or teachers, people who know more than you, sharing their knowledge what have you?
00:22:03.092 --> 00:22:05.729
Or just sharing experience with people.
00:22:06.621 --> 00:22:18.529
So that sometimes gets people thinking like, yeah, this isn't about me preserving some sense of uncoachability or ego or what have you.
00:22:18.529 --> 00:22:26.271
This is about me being the best that I can be and finding the success that I want to and getting people attached to that.
00:22:26.271 --> 00:22:34.847
But once people start working with me and I'm sure it's the same with you, christina they're bought in and at that point they're coachable.
00:22:34.847 --> 00:22:40.949
I guess you could say they are bought into the process and their success and they want it.
00:22:40.949 --> 00:22:43.413
They're ready to get after it, christina.
00:22:43.413 --> 00:22:44.076
I mean, they want it.
00:22:44.076 --> 00:22:47.124
They're ready to get after it, christina?
00:22:47.144 --> 00:22:49.875
I'm wondering if you know you were laughing.
00:22:49.875 --> 00:22:57.700
I was laughing because I find that the two extremes are the you know I'm uncoachable with pride, as if there is something to be proudful about.
00:22:57.700 --> 00:23:08.189
And also the other spectrum is and sometimes, unfortunately, it happens even with people that are going through coaching or some form of any external help is the.
00:23:08.189 --> 00:23:12.323
You go through a concept of you, go through an exercise and you you touch on something.
00:23:12.323 --> 00:23:13.826
They answer the questions.
00:23:13.826 --> 00:23:31.545
Whatever it is, you know, you kind of unpack it and it gets to that finish line of like yep, got it next and I'm like okay, the fact that you say you got it means that you really didn't, because there is no getting it in coaching, in self-awareness, in growing Like there's no try.
00:23:31.545 --> 00:23:43.846
It's kind of like purpose, there's no metal that you get, exactly so whatever finish line you thought you had, that's just you putting a wall up because you don't want to see what's behind it.
00:23:44.700 --> 00:23:45.845
Yeah, absolutely.
00:23:45.845 --> 00:23:48.103
There's no certificate of completion.
00:23:48.103 --> 00:23:51.568
It is.
00:23:51.568 --> 00:24:05.411
It is just gaining more understanding and knowledge and then bravely applying that, staring down those fears and taking down those walls and being willing to move past them, perhaps with some of the tools in the coaching process.
00:24:05.951 --> 00:24:14.367
Yeah, it's a wonderful distinction too, because you can logically tell anybody anything and it might totally be true, like, hey, you know, there's a different way to live this.
00:24:14.367 --> 00:24:18.303
You don't have to be living in shadows or the sky is blue, I don't know what.
00:24:18.303 --> 00:24:20.803
You can say anything and it's.
00:24:20.803 --> 00:24:22.368
Everybody can receive that.
00:24:22.368 --> 00:24:24.942
They can understand the words, they can understand how.
00:24:24.942 --> 00:24:38.105
Theoretically that would be true, but it is, in my experience, next to impossible to have some revelation and actually have that like really solidify all in like you know 15 minutes somebody can tell you exactly what you need to hear.
00:24:38.184 --> 00:24:45.451
Yes, and you're going to need to still have that time to unwind those habits that led you a different way and rewind new habits.
00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:49.223
Absolutely 100%.
00:24:49.223 --> 00:24:53.090
I'll hear that a lot is I intellectually like.
00:24:53.090 --> 00:24:55.642
I get it in that sense of like.
00:24:55.642 --> 00:24:59.048
You know, I intellectually understand this.
00:24:59.048 --> 00:25:01.874
It makes sense, I see where this is truth.
00:25:02.500 --> 00:25:13.401
But one of the tenets of our coaching program that Christina and I both went to is that belief is stronger than truth and you have to get to that belief aspect of somebody.
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