The Journey to Authenticity: Embracing Self-Reflection, Inclusivity, and the Transformative Power of Inner Work with Maria Velasco

[INTRODUCTION]

"Maria Velasco: First is education about there are all these different communication styles. But even before that is more inner work. It's about, "Okay, I believe this about time. Who told me this? And where is this coming from? And how that it impacts the way I behave with others? We say that inclusion, to develop an inclusive lens, you have to do the inner work. And doing the inner work is that knowing where your values, where your beliefs come from. Who gave them to you?"

Alex Cullimore: Hello, Cristina. 

Cristina Amigoni: Hello.

Alex Cullimore: We are here today on our Monday schedule now. Or, no. Isn't that – sorry. It's my Monday. I was out yesterday. It's Tuesday. This is my mental Monday. Here on our Tuesday schedule for recording, which means we have some energy. But we're also at the end of the year here. We're all over the place. 

But we got to talk to Maria who brought the energy, thankfully, and had all the kinds of great stories about just great story of like personal self-discovery as well as what that has led her to do with her work and how she brings that to organizations. And how she brings all of the spirit that she has lived with for her life to others now. It's a great story. She should write a book.

Cristina Amigoni: She should write a book. Yes. And she actually started with recommending books by an author that I'm going to look up. Because they sound really fascinating. Just around how everything is energy and what that means. And yet, her path of self-discovery and just actually doing it. Not just feeling it and be like, "Yeah. Yeah. Whatever." But actually, jumping and doing it is very inspiring. 

Alex Cullimore: That's a great story. Great story, and great resilience and just great ways to remind yourself what is important. I also love her definitions between knowledge and wisdom, change and transformation. I won't spoil anything but they are good definitions to keep in mind when thinking about how life works and what it means to know.

Cristina Amigoni: Yeah. Great definitions. And just the whole conversation about what inclusion actually is, and what it's not and how complex it is. Listen away.

Alex Cullimore: Listen and learn. Enjoy. 

Cristina Amigoni: Listen and learn. Enjoy. 

Alex Cullimore: Welcome to Uncover the Human, where every conversation revolves around enhancing all the connections in our lives. 

Cristina Amigoni: Whether that's with our families, co-workers, or even ourselves. 

Alex Cullimore: When we can be our authentic selves, magic happens.

Cristina Amigoni: This is Cristina Amigoni. 

Alex Cullimore: And this is Alex Cullimore. Let’s dive in.

Cristina Amigoni: Let’s dive in. 

“Authenticity means freedom.”

“Authenticity means going with your gut.”

“Authenticity is bringing 100% of yourself not just the parts you think people want to see, but all of you.”

“Being authentic means that you have integrity to yourself.”

“It's the way our intuition is whispering something deep-rooted and true.”

“Authenticity is when you truly know yourself. You remember and connect to who you were before others told you who you should be.”

“It's transparency, relatability. No frills. No makeup. Just being.”

[EPISODE]

Alex Cullimore: Welcome back to this episode of Uncover the Human. Cristina and I are joined with our guest today, Maria Velasco. Welcome to the podcast, Maria.

Maria Velasco: Thank you, Alex. It's a pleasure to be here.

Cristina Amigoni: Thanks for joining us.

Maria Velasco: Absolutely. 

Alex Cullimore: It's awesome to have you here. I got to meet Maria in coach training. We've actually known each for about a little over a year now I guess at this point just about when we met. It's really exciting to have you on here, Maria. Just to give everybody a little bit of a background, what's your story? And what brought you here? 

Maria Velasco: Yeah. What brought me here to where I am today? So many events and synchronicities that have happened in my life for me to be in Longmont, Colorado. But just let me start saying that I'm originally from Spain, from a small, medium-sized city called Salamanca. It's a university town. It's really, really beautiful. It has a lot of architecture. And they call it the small Rome because it has two cathedrals and a Roman bridge. 

But it's a pretty – how would I say? Conservative town in a way. And I grew up there and I always felt like I was out of place in a way. And at about age 15 I start questioning. It's like there has to be more to life than just going out to restaurants and hang out with people, which I love doing that. But it felt like there was something missing. 

And when I was 18 years old I met this older man that introduced me to Carlos Castaneda. I don't know if you guys have ever heard about him. He's an American Anthropologist that went to Mexico. Anyway, if you want to check it out, he wrote seven books. And in those books, I discovered, yes, there is something else in the sense that what we see is just the reality that we see. We see it because we have been conditioned to see it. But in reality, everything is energy. And we are energy. And is more depth than what mainstream or school teaches us. And I think my own journey in my spirit was yearning for something more. 

After I discovered that I was right, that there is something else, then I wanted to look, search for that type of knowledge where I can become a little bit more educated about physics or other things that are not Catholic, let's put it that way. 

My possibilities were very limited living in Spain, which is like maybe almost 100% of individuals are Catholic. I met these two friends from another city in a wedding that they told me that they were flying that night to Seattle. And I said, "Why are you guys flying to Seattle?" They said, "We're going to a mental control school." I don't remember how they described it. But it was like something that it was like, "Wow. My God. That sounds so interesting." 

My question to them was, "Hey, if you ask if people know about Carlos Castaneda." I got a postcard one month later and said everybody knows Carlos Castaneda here. Then I'm like, "Okay, I got to find a direction to go to explore this spiritual journey that I have." And that's how I visited Seattle. And I attended the place that they were attending and I recognize that that was part of my path.

I finished college, which I only had two months after my first visit to the states and told my boyfriend and my family. And I sold my car. I had an Audi. A Fiat that my dad probably recognized. And I came to the United States with $200 in my pocket. A plane ticket at $200 in my pocket to an adventure that I didn't know how it was going to unfold. But the calling that I felt was so deep and it was so true that I knew I was in the right path. And the rest is history. That's just how I got to the United States and why. And I'm going to stop there.

Alex Cullimore: Oh, that's a great so. And there's so much just following what you're interested in following just passionately. You called it spiritual yearning. Just there was an idea that there could be something more. What has that path of discovery been like? What has the more been like? 

Maria Velasco: Yeah. What a great question, Alex. The discovery, I was part of this organization for 10 years when, really, all you do is inner work. Do a lot of inner work. Learning about yourself. Learning about your science. About trying to remember all the things that we learn now. It's kind of distant. 

But anyway, I got a really good education about how the universe respond to who we are and how we are here as incarnated souls for a specific reason. And from there, one of the things that for me was so important is that I wanted to dedicate my life to growth, to spiritual growth, personal growth. But after I immersed myself for 10 years, at the beginning, when I attended this organization, I didn't understand because it was everything in English. But they have interpreters. They have simultaneous interpreters. 

After the first year and a half I actually started working on my English and became a simultaneous interpreter. I was able to work for them. Make money and at the same time continue my studies. But after 10 years I realized it's like, "Oh, my God. I have all this knowledge. I have accumulated. I have to make like a little pause." 

At one point after being one year in that organization that teaching you how to manifest. How to create your own reality? How you are the master of your destiny? I was manifesting nothing. I was like, "This is not working." 

I went for a little vacation to Mexico and I decided – I found this little town in the Caribbean which I fell in love with. And I decided, "You know? I'm going to stay here. I'm not going back to the United States." And I stayed there for one year. 

And, oh, my gosh. That's when everything that I have learned of all the knowledge about how we attract what we need, the people, the things unfolded for me in the Caribbean in a way that sometimes I may not have money and someone will come and give me watermelon. I was like, "I didn't ask." Someone give me a bicycle and a dog. And I created all this from nothing that I could not believe. 

Then, I have to say, "All right. Everything that I have learned is true." That knowledge stopped being knowledge and really became wisdom. Because I lived it. It's like that you told me all this. I believe it. It was in my head. But now how I lived that experience. Anyway, it became wisdom. I went back to the United States. I just wanted to do that little past. 

But after 10 years in that organization and experiencing the growth that I did, I said, "Okay, I cannot stay in a community where everybody is doing the same." I need to go to the world. I need to bring this into the world in one way or another. Otherwise, it's like, "What is this? What is this light going to do?" That's when I moved to Colorado. And then I started kind of like following in the tracks of giving back. And I need a question there because I want you guys to be engaged. Because I can go on forever.

Cristina Amigoni: I love how you distinguish the knowledge and wisdom and how knowledge is you hear something. Your brain gets it. Or you know it. As in, logically, you know it. But wisdom is when you have experienced it and you're feeling it. And so, how has that helped you then create your journey in Colorado when you decided this needs to go out into the world? 

Maria Velasco: Beautiful. Yeah. And I have to say that when I was in Mexico, people say, "There's something about you. There is something different. There is something." I think that when we do inner work, people notice. It's like, "Yeah." But when I came to Colorado, this, again, following a hint. I was like, "Where can we move?" I had a daughter. She was four years old and I was married. And it's like the realization that I was done. The work that I was doing in the hospital where I was working as the director of language and cultural services, it felt like, "All right. There's no juice here anymore." My friendships, everything. It was really obvious. And I think it's very important for us to hear that whisper of the future that tell us we are done. You got to move on. I listened to that. But then what direction do you take, right? There are so many possibilities? Could be Miami. Could be like anything. 

I had this really good friend that I met in Mexico during my year there. She's from Switzerland and she's a gypsy, honestly. She has always been under-degreed in barter things and lives in a way that is like, "How do you do that?" She's just amazing. And she lived in both Boulder. And I have visited her at one point where I was living in Washington and I was like, "That's what it is. Boulder." It's a spiritual. There is a community. And [inaudible 00:13:09] my friend is there. That's how I like selected this place. 

And this, again, is about how can you listen for the direction that you're being told? And how do you have the courage to follow that? To leave everything behind? To restart all over again? And I started working for an amazing, amazing – I mean, I moved to Colorado without a job or anything. I have done an interview with this company, this nonprofit that help immigrants acquire the skills to be successful. 

And after the hospital – I didn't say this. But I was working in a hospital for four years and I was helping individuals that didn't speak English to have their appointments in in the emergency room, in different areas. And I was paying – I was getting paid a lot of money and had this incredible guilt that they were charging these individuals a thousand dollars to go to the emergency room because they didn't – most of them, they didn't have what they call a home – like a doctor. And then I was making all that money. 

At that point something in my life was like, "I don't know." And someone gave me this book called The Soul of Money. And The Soul of Money opened my eyes to other perspectives, which is about nonprofit organizations, which I didn't know anything about. And I was determined to enter into a world that is more about giving. It's more about a path with a heart. 

And I got this job in this amazing organization called Intercambio Uniting Communities. And, Oh, my God. Because I have been an immigrant myself. Because I have difficulties with the language, with the culture and all that. For me, it felt that I was giving back. That it was like it was a very fulfilling job to the point that I stayed there for seven years, which I have never done in my life because I get tired of everything pretty fast. 

Cristina Amigoni: We don't we know nothing about that. Getting tired of things pretty fast.

Alex Cullimore: We can definitely relate. We about broke our ankles pivoting the first couple years.

Maria Velasco: Awesome. Yeah. In that organization, I realized that inclusion is a tough call even for an organization like that. That it was multicultural. And as a person from Spain, we're fiery. Our communication style can be what people feel as confrontational. Yeah, even our conflict style. It's like there was something that I needed to change that in order to be able to be included. And that was very tough. Because it's wired. You grow up. You're buying stuff like this and they express this way. But apparently, in that organization, there were some people that felt kind of threatened, or intimidated, or something like that by a style, by a passion. 

And I had another friend from Spain that was experiencing the same thing in her job. She was working for government for the weight program. And he's like, "Can you turn it down? Can you turn it down?" It's like this intensity and this passion, I realized how uncomfortable people will get to the point that I was asked that I had to change. 

And the pain that I experienced in my soul to having to live a part of me behind, that was one. And the second, the fear every day going into work to like what if this part of me comes up and I get fired? 

And so, then is when I started recognizing how difficult this concept of inclusion is. Who includes what and why? And I think that was an experience that really opened my eyes about this topic.

Alex Cullimore: That's fascinating. I'm sure, Cristina, you can't relate to any of that coming from being Italian to coming over being American. 

Cristina Amigoni: It's interesting though, because I actually did not change my communication style. I just expect people to adapt to how I communicate. And if they don't like it, well, they can communicate with somebody else. I have gotten better on the conflict part. But the communication one, it's like, "You know what? I don't beat around the bush. This is what it is. Deal with it. Let's move on." 

Maria Velasco: Yeah. You have a very New York style too. 

Cristina Amigoni: Yeah. I don't know. It's probably the combination of a New York mother and an Italian father and growing up in Italy. It's like there's no getting out around the direction. This is not getting suppressed. Or if it does – 

Maria Velasco: There's no wiring. 

Cristina Amigoni: Yeah. If it does, it's like trying to like contain a bomb that has already been detonated. The damage is going to be way worse than if you just let it go. But I find it heartbreaking and fascinating when you talked about how this experience made you realize the importance of inclusion and how difficult inclusion is. Because as you were talking about, your realization or even when you were asked really to exclude who you were as a person in order to be included in the group. 

Maria Velasco: It's something that it happens to many individuals. And it's a truly painful experience when you have to leave a part of yourself outside of the door. And what I try to explain to them is that why will I have to change? It's like why can you not include me? Right? And it's just little things. For example, I'm a very curious person. During the staff meeting, someone will say something and I will follow up with a question. It's like, "Oh, wow." 

And it was taking like threatening. I was trying to trip that person. The interpretations were like crazy. And I was like, "I don't like just reporting." Imagine getting a group of people together and they just report and there is no exchange, "Oh, yeah. I went to a conference and I learned this and that." And then there's no follow-up questions. It's like, "Oh, wow. Who do you meet? What was your favorite thing?" They say like, "Oh, Maria takes too long in the meetings. She makes us waste too much time." Because I will ask questions on that. The determination is like you have to ask questions after the meeting. 

Little things like that that is like, "Well, if you cannot create a space that includes others –" and they will give us two minutes to report. And the people that were from Latin America and myself, it's like, "Two minutes? Out of your mind. Two minutes?" Because our orientation to time, I get nervous only to say that I have two minutes. 

But anyway, I think a lot of incredible work we did. I want to say I. But we did a lot of incredible work in that organization identifying what were the needs. What were the needs of people from different cultures? And we recognized that some people that will come to work and don't say hi. They were like come, go, work. And for us, the Latinas, and I'm from Spain, that was painful. I was like, "Oh, my God." 

Little things that came up about what is an inclusive organization. And how can you lead an organization in a way that is not like, "Okay, this is the standard. Or this is the dominant culture way." And everyone that is not from the dominant culture, you just adapt to it. Instead of like, "Oh, how can we create a culture where those who are not from the dominant culture can bring their full selves to work and be who they are and bring the gifts that they have in their different ways?" That add to the richness of the team. Anyway. That was one experience that really sparked my love for inclusion.

Until then, my feel was called cultural competence. I have been working in the field of intercultural competence for about seven years. But then it started more curiosity. Having more curiosity about this topic of inclusion. And how do you make it happen? Because it's a complicated topic.

Alex Cullimore: Yeah. You've introduced some incredible aspects of it already. I like how you talked about just being curious and having a different communication style is a version of meeting to be included and can be something that other people might react to. As they take their interpretations, they're taking it as is confrontation or interpretation. Or taking this as something that's more challenging than it's meant to be. It's meant to be an actual inner interexchange in the middle of a meeting, which we've been part of so many meetings where people just show up. Say what they did. Nobody's paying attention. And it just goes around the table and then everybody's dismissed thinking they've had a necessary and important meeting for the day. And it's wild how common that is. But I really appreciate you defining things like inclusion and what it really means to have that understanding of it being things like cultural communication styles or personal communication styles that can be entirely different. 

Sometimes people get I think hung up on this is only about like race. Or it's about gender. And those are obviously way too big of buckets to try and define anything on anyway. And those are great examples of what it really means to try and find some of that inclusion. And I really love what you said about it being how do you decide what to include? And who decides and why? And how do you make space for that conversation? I'm curious how that work goes for you and what that might look like.

Maria Velasco: It is a difficult work, the work of diversity, equity and inclusion because it has to do with mindset. It has to do with if you try to explain to a person something they don't have the capacity to view it in a more expanded way. It's just going to be a conversation that doesn't go anywhere. 

My work with inclusion is more about how do we help individuals develop their mindset so they can see what they don't see, so they can become more inclusive leaders? 

For example, if you don't know that in the world there are different communication styles, direct or indirect. That people view time in different ways. That people view leadership or power in different ways. You are going to go with the assumption there is one way to see time, power. When someone – difference. What are you doing? You're wrong. 

First is education about there are all these different communication styles. But even before that, it's more inner work. It's about, "Okay. I believe this about time. Who told me this? And where is this coming from? And how that it impacts the way I behave with others?" We say that inclusion, to develop an inclusive lens, you have to do the inner work. And doing the inner work is that knowing where your values, where your beliefs come from. Who gave them to you? And then how do you project it into others? And then recognizing that. 

And this is a part. Because our values were given to us by people we love and respect. Like our parents. Anything that challenge – first, we believe that they are right. And then anything that challenge those values is going to cause us to feel like maybe triggered or maybe judgmental towards those who are acting in a way that don't fit with our values. 

For inclusion really to happen, it has to start with inner work of the individuals in any organization, so they start expanding and widening their blinders. And then a lot of practice. You have to do a lot of practice on building the muscle of inclusion and stopping the judgment on being able to look at what is happening from multiple perspectives. 

And everybody has to be in the game. If you have an organization where people are committed to this type of growth and they open-minded enough to say, "We're going to get it wrong sometimes. We're going to keep working on it." And then you have leaders that invest on developing themselves in terms of developing that. Doing the inner work. Developing their mindset. Then you can have a workplace where really it's more human. Because everyone can bring who they are to the table. And people are all accountable when you hear something that is offensive and recognizing that it's not intentional. That there's going to be a call-out and there's going to be a conversation, right? Instead of like, "Oops." 

And what I find out is that there's a lot of fear. There's a lot of fear about making mistakes. And there's like this contraction. And I think that having that education, having that commitment, having that vision of what that everybody in that place want that organization to look like, to feel like, then you can start making it happen. 

It's just a process. It's a beautiful, beautiful process and beautiful unfolding. It's also very scary because it's a transformation. It's not a change. A change, I'm going to go from A to B. And this is going to look like this. And that transformation is like we don't know. It's kind of unknown. Anyway. That's my experience working with inclusion. And I love it.

Alex Cullimore: I really love the delineation between change and transformation there. The idea that there are changes. We kind of have a set goal and transformations. We're going to be different. But yeah, we're not sure how. And I like that idea just that we are actually just talking right before we started recording about, like learning languages. 

And just reading Adam Grant's new book, he was talking about the importance of being willing to make mistakes if you're going to learn a language and the importance of speaking it so that you just – because it is a communication style. The more you speak it, it ingrains in all the parts of the brain that it needs to ingrain into. But that's often one of the harder ones to jump into because it feels uncomfortable. We're worried about making mistakes. 

And it actually kind of ties in with so much of your life story. Jumping between continents. Jumping over to Seattle. Getting to Mexico for a little bit. And coming back to Colorado. These sounded like transformations based on your definition where there was an idea, there was a vision. And it wasn't about the details. It wasn't about like everything was going to be working out exactly as planned. It was just this is where we're going to go. And you found the things that supported along the way. 

It wasn't about you were able to jump into that. That's a really cool tie-in. And it sounds like it would be connected to some of the ideas of discovering and creating a more inclusive mindset. 

Maria Velasco: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Great connection there. Absolutely. I just have to say that myself, I'm just like crazy and I'm very adventurous. And I'm committed to just be like one with life. I don't know how to explain it. I recognize that doing those jumps and doing those things, I'm following a path that doesn't have a plan. It's not for everybody. 

And I will say that, with the inclusion, we do have a path. We do have steps that, yes, there's some adventures and there is risk. That we have done it enough times with organizations. And nature of organization is different. That we can create safety even though it's uncomfortable. I just don't want people to get the notion that they have to be adrenaline speakers or like crazy. 

I really like the connection that you have made. And again, there is a path that we can develop with organizations and where people can feel like they can learn these skills. And we all have the capacity to do it. And we can become competent and confident in working across differences, leading across differences. It's just a matter of, again, education, inner work, and practice and transforming ourselves and our organizations. Mm-hmm. 

Cristina Amigoni: Well, and you mentioned inner work a lot, which we know as coaches that's where it all starts. It's doing the inner work. And also, we know, and you've mentioned quite a bit, is there has to be a willingness to do that, which is probably the biggest step for a lot of people is the awareness that it's necessary and then the willingness to actually do it. Because it is hard. It is a hard path. There's no doubt about it. There's a lot to do. And it's not pretty either. It's hard and it's not – 

Maria Velasco: Mm-hmm. It gets messy.

Cristina Amigoni: It gets messy. What do you find helps with even get to that point? To getting to the willingness to do it? 

Maria Velasco: Yeah. There are like a couple of paths that I have seen at companies. One is the reactive path, is, okay, this person of color left and sent an email to everybody about how awful it is to work here. Then you get a call and then you do kind of like, "Okay. I'm going to be reactive to what happened." 

There are other companies that are proactive. I'd rather work with proactive companies. Because the motivation is more real. The other demotivation is like, "Gosh. We messed up. We really have to do this." I mean, there's no better one way better than the other. But I really like working with companies that recognize the importance of being inclusive in the sense for people, for employees to be engaged. To feel psychologically safe. To have an organization that really is thriving and people feel really connected. And how much that impacts everything. The productivity, the innovation. 

And I work with both type of companies. I recommend to be proactive rather than reactive. Because it can be a little bit too late when you do it in a reactive way. And then you have to jump too much. And that can become too much for people because – and this is a misconception, "Oh, now we have to do DEI work and our work." And in reality, what we're doing is like how can we wave the DEI into your work so there is better results? 

Yeah. Again, there's are long-term process, as you know. Like, changing ourselves, culture in an organization. When organizations are proactive, they are more prone to say, "Okay. Yeah, I can dedicate one year and a half. I can dedicate whatever it is." And when it's reactive, it's more like we want to fix this. This is something to fix. It's a different mindset. It's not so much about an opportunity. Yeah. I think those are the two examples that I have seen. And then there are other companies that just want to do a little bit in kind of like the surface. 

And I normally pass along those to other colleagues that work with individuals that are early in the continuum. Not because there is anything wrong with that. But I really want the talents that we have in our company to have the biggest impact. And I find out that the match, the clients that are a better match for us are those that are really ready to roll their sleeves up, go all the way in, take the time that is needed. That's where we could have the most impact. 

We're always trying to find those clients that are like they have the yes already. It's not that I have to sell, or convince, or anything like that. They're like, "Hey, we're ready to do this." Good. You have the skills. Can you bring in? We're like, yes, this is a match.

Alex Cullimore: That sounds shockingly familiar.

Cristina Amigoni: Yes.

Alex Cullimore: That's basically our entire business strategy. If you want to call it that.

Maria Velasco: Yeah. And again, it's nothing wrong with people that are at the begin – just a continuum. And they are like consultants are perfect. That initial part and others are better or other parts. Yeah, no judgment towards any – 

Cristina Amigoni: That's true. It's just where they are in the journey. And we can resonate with like we do the deep work. We don't do the surface work. And the surface work is needed in some places. And sometimes it's the beginning before you can go too deep. But that's the match, for sure. We do the deep work. If you want to do it, it's us. If you don't want to do the deep work, then we don't – we can provide value but it's not that level of value as you said that we want to provide and that we are able to provide.

Maria Velasco: Yeah. I agree. And then if you say yes to those, then is a mismatch. Nobody is happy. The client is not happy. We are not happy. And there are other consultants that love that initial work. I think that's why we need each other. I don't see others as competition, but it's more like let me – I give you the name of this company who can help you where you are. Mm-hmm. 

Alex Cullimore: Ultimately, it's wherever you are in the journey and your willingness to take a step in that journey. Wherever you are, taking the step. And yeah, it's great. It sounds like you're kind of honing in on the areas you really want to focus in on. And that's definitely something we've been working on over the last couple of years. I think we're getting closer to just we really know a lot better and can articulate a lot better the part of that journey that we can really accelerate and we really thrive in. 

There's more before. There's more after. And there's more other work that can be done. We actually quote Simon Sinek's Infinite Game a lot because of the idea that we are not really in competition. But everybody is promoting something that is a larger-than-life goal, a larger than any of us goal to go make more humanistic workplaces. 

Maria Velasco: Mm-hmm. Absolutely. I love what you say. That there is always more work to do. There is a beginning. There's a middle. There's an end. And then it's like continue with that. Yeah. I would say that's something that really gets in the way for organizations to jump into these transformational journeys is the perfectionism, which is a value of the white-dominant culture that you got to get it right. 

And I think we, to some extent, have experienced that growing up. In school. Red. You got it wrong. Okay. You got to get it right. Then we are adults and then there is like we enter into this new competency in which we can get it wrong. And I'm like, "I don't want to be viewed as something as incompetent." Because maybe you're super competent on everything. You're like an amazing leader. And now it's a high risk to put yourself into that. 

But I think it's like just willing to leave behind those perfectionism terms that even becoming aware that they are there. Because, for example, with the psychological safety is so important for people to be able to make mistakes in organizations and learn from those mistakes. We have these contrasting values that we want people to be psychological safe. But then we have value of perfectionism that we are not even aware or in the norms of that organization. Then it's like, okay, you cannot have one if you don't let go of this outdated value that is perfectionism. 

That is not like, "Oh, everybody can make mistakes. And that's okay." But it's like using mistakes as learning opportunities and really recognizing that we all make mistakes in areas of our lives so people don't have to be so tense. And they got to feel more psychologically safe. That's just one aspect of psychological safety. 

Alex Cullimore: Great way of describing it. I think there's no moving forward if you're paralyzed by the idea that there might be a mistake. There's going to be mistakes. If we can be okay with that and support each other in that especially and not feel like that's just – let's figure out who scored the best. Who got the least red on their paper. Then you reduce that status, that competition, the fear. And you can finally experience some growth. If you want to grow, it's going to be uncomfortable. You're going to be wrong a little bit.

Cristina Amigoni: Well, I'm sure we could talk about all of this for hours and hours. And, well, we can talk about more at least about it when we meet tomorrow night for happy hour. We do have a couple of questions for you to wrap up. One is where can people find you?

Maria Velasco: People can go to my webpage, wwwbeyondinclusiongroup.com. Our social media and LinkedIn – I mean, I can send you the information. 

Cristina Amigoni: Yeah. We'll put in the show notes. And I love that your company name, Beyond Inclusion. Because it's not just the surface like we talked about. It's let's actually make it happen. Let's go beyond just the word.

Maria Velasco: Thank you. Yeah.

Cristina Amigoni: And what is your definition of authenticity? 

Maria Velasco: Oh, my gosh. I think that my definition of authenticity has evolved throughout the years. One is to really show up fully in the sense that this is something that I have a struggle, and I think that I may still struggle, that we have all amazing things like strengths and the light that we bring. And we also have the dark. We have our trauma. We have things that are not strength. 

And I think when we show up authentically, we are willing to bring it all to the table the dark and the light at the same time, the strengths. And those things are not our strengths for people to see. And I think that would be one. How can we bring our whole selves? 

Because even for us, we hide things that we don't like. We hide it from ourselves. We're not authentic with ourselves. Like, "Oh, no. I'm this. I'm this." And it's what looks good, and successful and is that. But recognizing for me that my pain and the trauma that I have experienced in my life has been the field to become this amazing person that looks for growth and development. 

I think if I would have a pretty easy life, an amazing dad and all this love, oh, yeah. Great. I will have to stay there. However, all that I didn't have propel me to find love within myself and to be in this journey to really find out who I was. And now, my difficulty is to be able to show up like in a place like this and show and bring it all-in. Not only – again, not only the beautiful parts but also the parts that are not so beautiful. And that for me is to be authentic. To show up authentic. Not hiding.

Alex Cullimore: That's an awesome definition. I really appreciate that. I like the idea of bringing the light and the dark. Sometimes we ask people and there's definitely a lot of talk around discussing that, bringing your whole self. And I like that diving into what that really means because the whole self is not just the light. It is also what's made us. 

Maria Velasco: Exactly. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Those ugly parts are – again, they're an integration of who we have become and maybe sometimes the cause of becoming who we become. We hide them. I think that's something that I don't know how that works actually. How we perceive when someone is authentic or not. I haven't thought this through. 

But I think when we hide something, there's an energy that people feel it. There's something that is not present. And it takes a lot of energy from us. Because then you're hiding, and suppressing and all that. And then you cannot like be the flower open in front. 

Cristina Amigoni: It does take a of energy. And it's true. It's like you can detect it. There's like a block in the energy flow when somebody is not being authentic. 

Maria Velasco: Who's someone that you consider authentic? I'm just curious to hear.

Cristina Amigoni: That's a tough question. 

Alex Cullimore: Yeah. That's a big one.

Cristina Amigoni: – authentic. 

Alex Cullimore: I would say, actually, Cristina shows up authentically almost all the time. I don't think I've known a lot of times when you don't come out and just kind of lay it out or willing to talk about what you're feeling or what things that need to happen. Afraid to push on those and not afraid to just kind of keep holding that space. I think, generally, I think there's a lot of times I've seen you show up different than you are. Very steady in that.

Cristina Amigoni: Well, thank you. I appreciate it. I would definitely reciprocate in the sense that at least in our friendship, as long as I've known you, I've always seen that, at least with me, you show up very authentically. And especially the last couple of years, you've gotten to shine with everybody else as well. 

Well, thank you so much. This was a great – so many insightful bits and pieces. 

Alex Cullimore: Great stories. Great insights. 

Cristina Amigoni: Yes. So much to learn. 

Maria Velasco: I really appreciate the time. Now I'm thinking, oh, I talk too much. But you know what? This is part of the indirect communication, is that we tell stories. I will tell you everything that I told you in – bullet points and it will take me a lot less but I don't think it will be as colorful, heartfelt. I think that's one of the advantages of indirect communication or contextual communication. Hopefully, I didn't bore you guys or I will not bore you publicly as a podcast. 

Cristina Amigoni: Not at all.

Alex Cullimore: Not at all. That's what connects. The story is what matters.

Cristina Amigoni: Yes. Yes. Yeah, the bullet points, there's no heart connection there. There's no energy connection. The stories is where the energy flows. We do appreciate all your stories because it could definitely – I at least really felt them. I felt the energy that came through, which is that was the experience. Thank you so much. 

Yeah. And to circle back on the meetings part, because I was jumping out of my own skin on that one, I am definitely that person that will ask a question after I hear something. It's like if this is a meeting to just report, then send an email. Because this is a waste of everybody's time. A meeting is to communicate. If we're not here to ask questions and dig deeper and understanding, then why are we here? 

Maria Velasco: Exactly. Beautiful. Yes.

Cristina Amigoni: Yeah. I've disrupted a lot of meetings. 

Maria Velasco: Cool. Well, I'm so happy that we connected. I mean, Alex connected I think last January. And Cristina, I've been wanting to meet you. I was like, "Alex, when are you going to introduce me to Cristina?" I was like so glad that we connected a couple of months ago in person in the build-up. I'm very grateful for this time with you two and for our connection.

Cristina Amigoni: Yes. We are too. And for a lot more opportunities to connect.

Alex Cullimore: Including happy hour.

Cristina Amigoni: Yes. Including happy hour. Well, thank you. And thank you, everybody, for listening.

[OUTRO]

Cristina Amigoni: Thank you for listening to Uncover the Human, a Siamo podcast. 

Alex Cullimore: Special thanks to our podcast operations wizard, Jake Lara; and our score creator, Rachel Sherwood. 

Cristina Amigoni: If you have enjoyed this episode, please share, review, and subscribe. You can find our episodes wherever you listen to podcasts. 

Alex Cullimore: We would love to hear from you with feedback, topic ideas, or questions. You can reach us at podcast wearesiamo.com, or at our website, wearesiamo.com, LinkedIn, Instagram, or Facebook. We Are Siamo is spelled W-E A-R-E S-I-A-M-O.

Cristina Amigoni: Until next time, listen to yourself, listen to others, and always uncover the human.

[END]